If You're Mad at 'With Love, Meghan' You're Probably the Problem

Wait? This made people mad? Meghan Mar... erm, I mean Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, is running around a rent-a-house in Montecito making fruit rainbows with Mindy Kaling and folks are having meltdowns.

Are these people OK?

Meghan (whether the former Markle or of the 'Thee Stallion' varieties) seems to inspire rage on social media for doing the most banal, beige things. She made pasta! HOW DARE SHE? She corrected Mindy on her last name. THAT BITCH! The show is beautiful, but kind of boring? CARDINAL SINS.

And the headlines have been pretty savage. Here's a sampling:

Now why anyone expects "reliability" from nobility, I do not know. There is nothing remotely relatable about Meghan's life to me, and I'm cool with that. World is on fire. I just wanna watch her sprinkle edible flowers on my pain. But there's nothing relatable about Prince Harry's life. Or Prince William's life. Or Kate Middleton's life. Or any royal who doubles as a high-profile, public figure. Diana, Princess of Wales, was the "people's princess" and I got news for you — I couldn't relate to her life either! She lived and died in a way no one really experiences outside of royalty, cult-like popularity, immense wealth, or incredible political power (or all four), but it didn't stop me from LIKING HER!

The only problem with Meghan is that Meghan is probably a perfectionist (same recognizes same), and we perfectionists sometimes grate. We're out here, doing the most for no reason at all, trying to impress ... well, I'm not sure anymore. Originally, I was just trying to make my mother happy. So now, I guess it's everyone? Meghan's trying to make everyone happy, y'all! Hence, she is beige. Hence, she makes early 2000s jokes, like "my bacon brings all the boys to the yard." Hence, she didn't even film this in her own house, lest y'all find something offensive about that too.

But in trying to please everyone, she had no choice but to please ... well, nobody who already hates her. They were going to be mad if she filmed this in her house, if she filmed her mistakes, if she were more relaxed, if she did all the things the critics say she should have done — they were going to be mad because she's Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, and her mere existence is offensive. Her fiercest and most unhinged critics are not married to any kind of prince, therefore they have no title. And everyone knows titles are just for ... um ... non-Meghans. Or "Kates," as they're called. Kates can do whatever Meghans do, but without the backlash. Now what's the difference between a Meghan and a Kate? Both are ambitious women who set their eyes on their princely prizes and got them. They both really like to wear boring, yet chic clothing. Both are mothers. Both are brunettes. Both were non-royals. Really, the only difference between them is ... well, one is an American actress and a descendant of slavery, and the other is a posh, white, and British.

No love for Mrs. Started From the Bottom and Now She's Royal? I wonder why!

Meghan is the ultimate litmus test for "do I have unconscious bias?" Because if Meghan chopping vegetables while talking in a calm, soothing voice fills you with rage, you're probably a jerk. Why exactly is it so upsetting that she has a show on Netflix? She's a celebrity. (That's all royals are to me. Glorified, fancified celebs.) She has to afford her security. Tyler Perry wasn't going to pay for her guards forever! What is supposed to do? Return to Suits and join the new Suits LA so y'all could hate on that too?

I wish Meghan's most vocal critics would admit there is nothing she can do to make them happy other than divorce Harry and/or die. (It's too much to ask these same critics to unpack their unconscious racial bias because they're in denial about why they hate her in the first place.) And I tire of publications platforming Meghan's "family," aka, the gaggle of estranged, struggling white people she's related to who seemed exceptionally pressed that their half-Black relative is an ambitious social climber. THE SHAME! How dare that woman want to improve her lot in life by running off with a prince, just like Disney told us all to do!

I swear, nothing anyone says can make me hate this woman. I wasn't even a fan initially. But now ... it's personal. What woman, what Black woman, hasn't tried to improve her situation in life through education, through her career, or through who she chose to spend her life with? I'm frickin' Meghan! I came from Midwestern obscurity to work my way up in media. My parents were Meghan. They went from "we picked cotton" to upper middle class. Stop. Hating. People for wanting upward mobility! Stop hating people for having African ancestry! Class is a curse. Racism is a disease. Get well soon.

Just watch With Love, Meghan while you fold clothes, make yourself a mini rainbow fruit charcuterie board with yogurt clouds, and live your best life. It's not worth raising your hackles over. Your Congress critters are out here censoring Rep. Al Green for actually speaking truth to power. We need our joy where we can get it.