'Ebony & Orchid' Blooms in Harlem

Last week was the first formal Ebony & Orchid dinner — a networking event for women of color, created by fashion designer and media sales executive, Junny Ann Hibbert, and me, your host. Held at the iconic Melba's restaurant in Harlem and sponsored by Verizon, more than 40 women participated in conversations around mental health, with me leading a fireside chat alongside Lynnette Verges, LCSW-R, the Chief Operating Officer of the NYC affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and Dr. Brittany Chambers, the Responsible Business associate director at Verizon.

In guided conversations, women from diverse backgrounds came together to discuss how to get the support they need while working in high-pressure roles. And as a journalist and someone who lives with mental illness, I know intimately what that feels like.

Twenty years ago, I was living in California in the very non-diverse Kern County, struggling mentally as a staff writer for The Bakersfield Californian. I'd just turned 28 and almost ended my life after a bout with severe insomnia and depression.

In an effort to make myself fall asleep one night, I took several sedatives and drank a bottle of wine, causing me to overdose. Thankfully, my friend Christina Hunter stopped me before I drank a second bottle of wine and took me to a hospital for treatment. While I was there, a doctor asked me why I did it, and I said, "I wanted to go to sleep," and that "I was sad." Rudely, he responded, "Every girl is sad nowadays," to which Christina spoke up, asking whether the doctor was actually going to do anything.

I ended up spending the night in a hospital bed, while a worried Christina watched over me. A few months later, I would be hospitalized for three weeks at UCLA Medical Center, where I was finally diagnosed with type II Bipolar disorder.

Today, I'm a leading journalist, living in New York City, surrounded by colleagues and friends who care deeply about me and have supported me in innumerable ways. I'm grateful that a friend saved my life that night in 2005, and that today, my friends and community continue to love and support me, keeping me happy and healthy. They are my network — something everyone needs, but what you especially need when you struggle with anxiety, mood swings, and depression. Far too often, when we struggle, we isolate, we close ourselves off, we cry alone, when one of the ways out of our despair is connection.

Human beings are social creatures. Even the most introverted person still needs family, still needs a friend. And that's why I created ANTISOCIAL, and why Junny and I made Ebony & Orchid. We wanted to create a safe space for sisterhood and connection to improve all our lives. We wanted to create a room where you may enter as strangers, but leave as friends.

If you're interested in being part of the next Ebony & Orchid dinner, please fill out the questionnaire here. We want to grow. We want to continue to bloom, be beautiful and resilient, and for that, we need you as part of our community. To learn more, follow us on Instagram and use the hashtag — #ebonyandorchid. And if you're interested in sponsoring or hosting the next dinner, contact us today!